deplore the cant of xenophobic do-gooders. A nation’s repository of
sacred customs must be revered. Without them a people are without dreams
and succeeding generations are left to flounder in normlessness.
support, not threaten, praxis — especially our own. Who of us does not
hold in high regard those hunters who gather together to shoot wild fowl
— the birds are doing nothing useful.
how manfully these devotees maintain their stance in the face of animal
liberationists, a band of fearsome desperadoes if ever I saw one.
revere the British in their persistence in the hunt, a ritual that has
kept generations of the ‘better’ classes occupied when nothing else
could. What a sight it is. Hundreds in pursuit of one creature. Surely
this pageant is worth any little inconvenience to the fox. Let us not
forget the sacrifice of the fair sex — submerging their sensibilities in
pursuit of a greater good. Watch as they follow, nay lead, their men to
are surely riding to a different drum.
further afield. To the Orient.
attempts to stop Japan from hunting the whale shows a callous
indifference to another nation’s ethos. One knows only too well how
resonant memories of such quests can be. Just ask Captain Ahab.
the whale has long been a core part of the Japanese cultural imperative,
vital to the development of their collective unconscious. The mere fact
that they are combining tradition with scientific enquiry illustrates
the purity of their motives. The claim that their only interest in
whales is sushi, has been cooked up by the conservationists. When
they exceed some arbitrary bureaucratic quota, they should be praised
not damned: they have the courage to stand resolute.
is another cultural institution that attracts opprobrium from the
narrow-minded. How misunderstood is this drama between the animal and
man. Watch as the picador, his cape a kaleidoscope of colour, teases the
bull into the full extent of its rage, for the bull's final engagement
with the matador. Writers, film stars and philosophers have all rejoiced
over the eternal drama played out in the bull-rings of Spain.
and animal rights exponents who say bull-fighting is barbaric are
missing the point. The great beast is elevated by his conflict with one,
whom the Bible says, is only a little lower than God. If you are in
doubt read Ernest Hemingway.
rites have been allowed to wither away. For instance, the practice of
Hara-Kari. Whole generations of Japanese have grown up without any one
of them personally experiencing this. You can blame Western Cultural
Imperialism and karaoke for this tragic loss.
not sit on our hands while such things happen. It is not enough to
preserve current rituals, we must revive ones that are, at this point in
achieve this end I am proposing tradeoffs: Japanese follow their
tradition of whaling as long as they reinstitute their ritual of
Hara-Kari. The Spanish search out Torquemada's descendants to do for
mankind what they are doing for the bull. The British reinstate the
chastity belt. The BBC dramas on Aunty make one wonder if this is an
impossible ask. Let them instead reintroduce the ancient practice of the
must not forget our own backyard. Australia must restore the lash as a
trade-off for the dogma that it is mandatory for ‘real’ men to shoot
anything that moves.
our politicians must do their part. At any cost, they must immediately
reinstitute the Divine Right of Kings to ensure that the British
monarchy persists into the third millennium. Any treatment of
Republicans must stop. Immediately.
will excite the Monarchists into a frenzy, reduce the Republicans to
anarchy, put us streets ahead of the British and reap their eternal
gratitude when we lead the charge backwards into the third millennium.