The Feral Joke Collector
[ Issue 18 ]

Where Three Ways Meet is one of Emily Brontoís favourite Bikwil features

Bikwil has a thing about The Feral Joke Collector

The Feral Joke Collector

Issue 18 features another selection in our occasional series The Feral Joke Collector.

These lines purport to have been written by citizens seeking redress from the public welfare system.  They have been forwarded by a certain Drudge-Pudding.

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The Feral Joke Collector


In Clumsy Pursuit of the Welfare State
[ Forwarded by Drudge-Pudding ]

Please find out if my husband is dead as the man I am now living with wonít do anything until he is sure.

In reply to your letter, I have already co-habited with your officer, so far nothing has happened.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

Please send some money as I have fallen into errors with my landlord.

I am writing to tell you that my baby was born two years ago and he is two years old. When do I get relief?

I canít get sick pay. I have nine children. Can you tell me why this is?

Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my two children, one is a mistake as you can see.

I am annoyed to find out that you branded my children illiterate. Oh! the shame of it! ó it is a dirty trick as I married their father a week before they were born.

Unless I get my husbandís money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesnít seem to be doing me any good. If things donít improve, I will send for another doctor.

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