Eternal Life Device
[ Issue 17 ]

Alex Chiu's Eternal Life Device captivates Emily Bronto

Permit Bikwil to reveal the delights of Alex Chiu's Eternal Life Device

Eternal Life Device

In Web Line for Issue 17 Tony Rogers reviews another weird and wacky site ó Alex Chiu's Eternal Life Device.

Sensible fellow that he is, Alex fully expects a bit of scepticism, scrutiny and ridicule

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So youíre keen on the Weird and Wacky Web, are you? And you wish you could enjoy it forever?

Well, perhaps we can arrange it.

Meet Alex Chiu, who, despite his fractured English, has managed to make an offer that beggars ó nay, buggers ó the imagination. He calls it Alex Chiuís Eternal Life Device.

Eternal Life Device is believed to allow humans to stay physically young forever. Magnetic device strengthens metabolism and frees blood circulation generating a super human body. Patent pending. The most important invention in human history . . . Please believe me. Everything you read is true and is important. Now people do not have to age anymore.

As I understand him, there are really two devices ó The Eternal Life Rings and The Eternal Life Foot Braces. The Rings you have to wear on the little finger of each hand, the Braces on all ten toes, ďas long as you wear the rings or foot braces every night during sleepĒ.

It would seem that the Rings and Braces are alternatives: you donít need both, provided you put the device of your choice on the right and left limbs ó positive and negative terminals, donít you know?

Sensible fellow that he is, Alex fully expects a bit of scepticism, scrutiny and ridicule:

I am not one of those stupid moron who donít know what I am doing. I know about FDA . . . One phone call to the FDA by an unsatisfied customer then Iím in BIG trouble . . . [but] I have no choice but be brave and face the danger and laughter! . . . There is a good reason why I am doing all this. BECAUSE IT WORKS!!! Isnít that cool? Iím selling eternal life right off of internet . . . All statements are my true beliefs. There are not at this time yet medical claims. The devices are for private experimentation of the buyers, not to be as medical treatment on otherís body.

Wow! I feel younger already. How about yourself?

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