Enter an Archetypal Zealot
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Enter an Archetypal Zealot delights Emily Bronto

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Enter an Archetypal Zealot

Enter an Archetypal Zealot is a Wagner parody by Tony Rogers of I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance.

I am the very model of a modern Wagner devotee

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Enter an Archetypal Zealot — Tony Rogers

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I am the very model of a modern Wagner devotee,
For fun I shout the names of all nine Valkyries with clarity,
At parties I'm the star with my quick leit-motivic repartee,
And Lohengrin and Parsifal I listen to with gravity.
I've memorised The Flying Dutchman upside down and inside out,
I'm just as well au fait with cobbler poets and their singing bout.
Just ask me what I know regarding Tristan and Isolde's case —
Of any hesitation in my answer there will be no trace.

Of any hesitation in his answer there will be no trace.

I make the Bayreuth journey every year quite automatical,
I've even been to see the Ring in venues cinematical.
Indeed, in matters Nibelung I make this solemn guarantee:
I am the very model of a modern Wagner devotee.

Indeed, in matters Nibelung he makes this solemn guarantee:
He is the very model of a modern Wagner devotee.

For Wagner, Siegfried was the opera which he called his own first choice,
Except that he demanded just a bit too much from Siegfried's voice.
For me, the work has many parts that always leave me fully floored,
In one of these that youthful fellow manages to forge a sword;
Another happens when the tranquil forest murmurs soft and mild
Give way to dwarf and dragon slaying, both of which just drive me wild;
But if there's one event in all the Ring that gets me to perspire —
It's when our Siegfried wakes Brünnhilde from her father's magic fire.

It's when our Siegfried wakes Brünnhilde from her father's magic fire.

I'm very good at imitating Fafner's awful dragon roar,
I know why Wotan fears so much the sound of Fricka's naggin' jaw.
In short, in matters Nibelung I make this solemn guarantee:
I am the very model of a modern Wagner devotee.

In short, in matters Nibelung he makes this solemn guarantee:
He is the very model of a modern Wagner devotee.

I'm very well acquainted too with matters orchestrational,
I understand why strings up high can sound most inspirational.
About the role of harps and tubas I'm the connoisseur to beat,
With many cheerful facts regarding anvils and the thunder sheet.
And with a firm assurance I reply to any question trick
On Freia, Hunding, Gunther, Hagen and especially Alberich.
Of course, I've learnt Rienzi's tunes, but don't forget my pet routine —
I challenge anyone to fault me on Brünnhilde's final scene.

We challenge anyone to fault him on Brünnhilde's final scene.

I know the Ring is not renowned for any kind of brevity,
But just the same, for me it is my favourite music cup o' tea;
And so in matters Nibelung I make this solemn guarantee:
I am the very model of a modern Wagner devotee.

And so in matters Nibelung he makes this solemn guarantee:
He is the very model of a modern Wagner devotee.

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